Danny DeVito’s character in War of the Roses says you can judge a man based on his car, his house, his wife and his shoes. Mr. DeVito was right about one thing, you can certainly tell a lot about a person based on their footwear. I have found that shoes are one of the best ways to evaluate a person. You should forewarn that this particular mantra comes from one of the pickiest people when it comes to selecting prospective mates and because of this a sort of prescreen/ selection process has been devised. The first things to look for on a man are his shoes. Obviously it is important to initially scout out the face and steal a quick glace at the attire to even tell if you are interested, but once this is over the answer lies in the footwear.
The thing about shoes is that they are such a strong indicator of so many facets of a persons’ life. First, and most obviously, they portray the kind of fashion sense a person has. They can also indicate how seriously a person takes him or herself. They are also strong gauges of how a person lives his or her life. Many people will say that fashion sense is something that is easy to change but personal experience begs to differ. Most people are rather convicted in their appearance, they believe in their fashion choices enough to go into their closet, select an outfit, and attempt to pull it off on a night out on the town. So it stands to reason that if you spend enough time selecting said outfit you’re less likely to be open to changing it. Which is why it is difficult to give guys with bad clothes, particularly their shoes, too much leeway.
The main reason it is vital to be so cut and dry about her theory is because for men it is so simple. There really isn’t too much room for error.
Let’s start with the easy ones, shall we:
Flip-flops- Flip-flops on a guy is a personal preference, which not everyone will agree with, but this personal mantra is that they say a man is casual and comfortable, just be sure not to spend too much time looking at their feet! But there are stipulations when it comes to this category, only in warm weather; no one wants to see your toes about to fall off in the middle of January. Rainbows are preferable but again brand is flexible.
Boat-shoes- These are the never go wrong, always appropriate (atleast at a bar, or in any other social situation in which you would most likely be introduced to someone) classic choice. Sperry’s on a guy is just about one of the hottest options. The best part about them is they are good all year round!
Tennis shoes/ Sneakers- Now it is important to realize that my theory is rather limiting, and appreciation for other types of style is important, even though they aren’t my particular cup of tea. A lot of guys are now rocking the Converse All-Star shoes, which, as long as you can pull them off, can be pretty cute. A lot of athletes, particularly lacrosse players, seem to think they can wear their tennis shoes out with them, which is a very fine line. Some can pull them off; some can’t, so the advice here would be to tread carefully.
And now, under no circumstances:
K-Swiss- It really shouldn’t even have to be said but this is an ultimate deal breaker. In most cases, an initial glance at the type of person who would be wearing these shoes wouldn’t even make it down to the footwear because they would have already been discounted based on their wife beater and tattoos. But in the off chance that there haven’t been four red flags in the milliseconds it takes to scan down to their feet, this would be the ultimate deal breaker. There are so many things wrong with these shoes it is difficult to know where to begin. And it might as well be added that this goes for any other similar type of all white tennis shoe, there is no discrimination based on brand name, in this case.
Mandals/ Crocs- This is another one I shouldn’t even need to explain. Mandals should be limited to Jesus and Armenian men. No one, and I repeat NO ONE, looks good in these! Crocs are only cute on children 8 and under, after that you just look like a kid who missed the short bus.
The thing about guys shoes is that it, in theory should be a no brainer, we’re making it simple for you here. Most guys, especially those in Baltimore, have the luxury of being able to wear relatively the same outfit for pretty much any occasion (excluding more formal affairs). They are extremely lucky, their polo shirt or oxford and khakis can take them from day to night, pretty much any time of the year, so a little attention to what they put on their feet should be simple!